A Fistfight with God

It's been a few years, but there was a point in my life when I challenged God to a fistfight. Can you imagine? What gall. What pride. What arrogance. But I was so angry at Him (for reasons I won't disclose here) that I challenged Him. "Show me your face," I said, "and I'll punch you in the nose." Well, I'm over it now. God, in His gracious and merciful way chose not to pummel me with something as simple as a breath, but instead chose to humble me. Heal me. Love me. What an amazing God. And I have found that my struggles now aren't so much with Him, as with myself. Oddly enough, I opened my Bible this morning and found a section of scripture from Romans that I can really relate to. Thought I'd share it.

For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man,

But I see another law in my members,

warring against the law of my mind,

and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin

which is in my members.

O wretched man that I am!

Who will deliver me from this body of death?

-Romans 7:22-24 (NKJV)

I think Paul and I must've had a lot in common. I wrestle daily with myself. But I take some solace in the very next verse he wrote:

I thank God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God

but with the flesh the law of sin.

I find comfort in knowing that, even though he struggled with sin, Paul's mind was on God. Paul's mind was on the one who conquered sin. And I pray that I'm able to keep my mind there too.