My Movie Star Name

Ya know, if I wanted to become a movie star, I'd have to change my name. That's because there's already an actor, registered with the Screen Actor's Guild, named Tim Glenn. His real name is actually Timothy Glenn Roberts, but I guess Tim Roberts was already taken, so he chose Tim Glenn. I know this because he's the reason my music website is http://www.timglennmusic.com/ instead of just plain timglenn.com. He beat me to it...and he's not willing to sell. Trust me, I tried for years.

So...that got me to thinking: What if I became a famous Hollywood star? (quit laughing...seriously, quit laughing...okay now you're just being rude!) Anyway, IF I were to become a famous Hollywood star, what name would I go by?

I could try to make it sound like I'm related to someone famous.
How about Tim Pitt? Tim Jolie? Or Tim Clooney? Tim Cruise perhaps? Nah...then, even if people assumed I was related to the famous celebrity, they'd just treat me like a B-list actor...like Chad Lowe or Stephen Baldwin. Besides, you can only pull it off, if you at least look a little like the celebrity. Ain't nobody confusing me with Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise these days! Ha!

I know! I have a nephew named Grey. I think he has the coolest name ever. Maybe I'll steal it from him and go by Grey Glenn. Now that would be a cool name. But it's not really fair to my nephew, is it?
Hmmm...any suggestions?

How about you? What name would you go by, if you were a movie star?

Real People

There are two commercials on the air right now that bother me. Both for the same reason. One is a KMart commercial, showing four women dancing around in their new outfits they bought from KMart. The voice-over says something like:

"These are real women wearing the latest fashions--and they bought them at KMart."

The other commercial is the Pizza Hut spot where families are gathered at what appears to be a fancy Italian restaurant. They are eating pasta, laughing, joking...only to find out that the pasta was prepared by Pizza Hut...not a top chef. Again, the caption on the screen reads something like:

"Real people at a tasting event."

Man. I'm glad they told me those were real people. What...am I supposed to think they are some sort of animatronics or something?

I know what they're trying to say. "These are not paid actors." So say it that way! But to infer these people are real because they're not actors is a bit silly, isn't it? What? Are actors not real people?

I think what bothers me most is that the messaging further perpetuates this celebrity obsession we have in this world, where "real" people are separated from the supermodels, actors and rock stars. Last I heard, celebrities still put their pants on one leg at a time. (Though some may have someone to do that for them!) If we are "real" and they are not, then what are they? And are we to infer from these messages that being "real" is something less than desirable?

I think I'd be even more upset if I were a celebrity. Imagine someone saying to you, "You're not a real person...you're a celebrity!" What?!

I have news for you, Pizza Hut and KMart, we are all real people.