My First Big Boy

So, I had to go to Grand Rapids, Michigan this week for work. I'm driving down 28th street when I see him. I've heard about him in movies...trivia questions...but I've never seen him in person. There he was, in all his fiberglass glory...with a doo-wap hairdo and checkerboard overalls. Big Boy. "I've gotta eat there!" I yelled in my car, though there was no one else to hear. I immediately called my wife. "Jen! They have Big Boys here!" "Huh?" "Oh...sorry...the restaurant!" "Oh, yeah, I used to eat at those all the time growing up." "Oh, I've never been to one. I'm going to go there for lunch!" So I did. Hmmm...maybe it was just because I had built up all this hype but I gotta say, I wasn't that impressed. I ordered a bacon cheeseburger with pepper jack cheese...and bacon. Oh, and a Diet Coke. Never got a refill on that drink, even though it was empty before I was halfway finished with my burger. The fries were okay. (Remember, french fries are my most favoritest food in the whole world!) The season salt made 'em a little better. And then there was this little bowl of cole slaw. Yech. I don't particularly like cole slaw and I'm not sure why it comes with a burger and fries...but hey...if that's part of their image, I'll go with it. All in all, it was an okay dining experience. Nothing to write home about. Wait...I guess I just did.

Next Please...

I recently encountered another one of my pet peeves. I had just gotten back from a 10-day trip out of the country and I was craving a good old-fashioned American cheeseburger. As soon as I made my way through Customs and Immigration at LAX, I headed for the food court. The closest thing they have to a burger joint is McDonald's (sorry if that offends anyone, I'm just not a big fan of Micky D's. But after 10 days of eating rice, it'll do.) As I walk up, I see four registers open...but there are only two really long lines. Why is that? People will form two extremely long lines instead of four shorter ones. I approached the lady who was standing at the end of the two lines...straddling both lines. "Which line are you in?" I asked. "Whichever one is faster." she answered. Are you kidding me?! Pick a stinking line already! We were down to two lines, and now here she was trying to cut it down to one! For four registers! C'mon people. Four registers. Four lines. I'm sorry if the pimple-faced kid at your register is slower than the one at mine. I'm sorry if the guy in front of you is ordering 6 Big Macs...one with no onions, two with mayonnaise only, one with no pickles, one with just meat and bread and the other without the "special sauce." But that's the breaks. That's the risk you take. But you gotta commit. "Next Please..."