Righteous Anger

In Christian circles, we often hear about "righteous anger." It's supposedly the anger that comes from a holy place within. Anger against evil and wrongdoing. Anger against something that would anger God Himself. It's sometimes referred to as "righteous indignation." That's a pretty big word. So I looked it up. Indignation means

"anger aroused by something unjust, unworthy, or mean."

But we need to be very careful with this. It's very difficult for us humans to be indignant about anything without it becoming personal. Righteous indignation, I believe, cannot be personal. It has to remain "anger on behalf of God." But what if it's God you're angry at? (I know, I know, I'm about to step on some toes here, but hear me out.) Lately I've been really struggling with this. I'm angry. I'm mad at God because I think He did something unfair. Now, I'm mature enough in my walk to know that's impossible. But I can't seem to get past this. You see, I'm angry that David Hames didn't walk out of the collapsed Hotel Montana in Haiti. I'm angry that he doesn't get to hold his two boys again...hear them call him "daddy." I'm angry he doesn't get to run his fingers through their curly hair or wrestle with them on the living room floor. I'm angry that his wife doesn't ever get to hug him again. I'm angry. And in my limited ability to understand anything God does, I perceive it to be "unjust." But is it "righteous anger?" Is it "righteous indignation?" I think not. It's impossible to be angry at God for being unjust, because God cannot be unjust. So I struggle with this. I struggle with how to express my feelings to the Almighty over this situation. Why does God sometimes allow unfair, unjust things to happen? I wish I knew the answer to that question. In the meantime, I am trying to temper my temper...and accept the fact that His plan is beyond my comprehension. Not righteous indignation...but righteous submission. And that is a very hard thing to do.

Un-Natural Disaster

I met a lot of people dealing with heartbreak as the result of the disaster in Haiti. In fact, it seems that heartache lives on every street in Port au Prince right now. I don't believe I met a single person who hadn't lost someone--a spouse, brother, cousin, child in the earthquake. Melicia's story broke my heart. I shared her story on Compassion International's blog.

How Poverty May Have Saved My Life!

Meet Samuel. He's a college student in Haiti studying architecture. Well, I guess I should say he WAS a college student studying architecture.

You see, Samuel was kicked out of class because he couldn't afford the tuition. He was supposed to be in class at 4:45pm last Tuesday when the earthquake hit. But because he had no money, he wasn't there.

Poverty just may have saved Samuel's life.

Because, this is what's left of the college. A pile of rubble. Flattened by the quake. His classmates perished. Many of their bodies are still trapped inside.

Samuel is living in a squatter's tent city right now. When we met him, he was playing a guitar, singing a song he wrote, titled "Lord, Do What You Want With Me." It might be a very appropriate song. Samuel was studying architecture. And architects are just what Haiti is going to need in the very near future, if this country is going to rebuild itself.

Samuel, God saved you for a reason. And yes, He's going to do what He wants with you. It could be that you're part of the solution for Haiti's future. An architect in the making. A life saved. A dream stalled, but not forgotten.

Of course, it's difficult to ever say that poverty is a good thing. In Samuel's case, it may have saved his life, but he still has to deal with the fact that his family has no food, no home. Hope for an education is non-existent. That's why your prayers and support are so desperately needed. Find a way to give to Haiti. Help give kids like Samuel hope for a future.

The Disaster BEFORE the Disaster

From Port Au Prince, Haiti Long before an earthquake hit Haiti, disaster had already made its place here--poverty. The effects of this quake are magnified tremendously because of the poverty factor. Poverty forced people to live on decaying hillsides. Poverty left buildings poorly constructed. Poverty left no infrastructure to respond to such a disaster. The images you see on your television or computer don't do the devastation in Haiti justice. Building after building has collapsed. I’ve seen dozens of multistory buildings that have collapsed into a stack of pancaked floors. Looking at the sheer tonnage of cement, I’m amazed anyone survived. Hospitals, schools, churches and businesses all flattened. As if this country didn’t already struggle to provide those services to those who need it. That is the great irony right now. The number of people who need medical attention has increased dramatically as the result of this disaster, but the number of medical clinics and hospitals decreased. It seems so unjust. Communication and transportation are terrible. I’d love to be able to show you some of the videos that I’ve shot, but I can’t get a strong enough Internet connection to last long enough to upload. At this point, my best connection provides 8kb per second. Terribly slow. And it lasts only a few minutes at a time. This morning, I witnessed a relief truck get overtaken by a crowd of people in the streets. The people climbed the big rig by the dozens, forcing open the back doors and tossing out bags of rice … all while the truck was driving. People are desperate for food. All over town, there are makeshift signs (mostly sheets with painted words on them) saying, “We Need Help” or “Please — We Need Food and Water.” At the border of the Dominican Republic and Haiti, I saw a couple of relief supply trucks that had been turned into makeshift storefronts. People were trying to sell the food, water and clothing inside. Another example of how important it is for you to make sure you partner with an organization that has established distribution channels. Many organizations can get stuff here, but don’t know how to distribute it. Parking a truck on the side of the road can cause mayhem. We don’t know exactly how many of our kids are affected. Getting to them all is terribly difficult. Many families fled when the quake hit. Many are sleeping on the streets. Rounding them up is tough. Perhaps one of the most inspiring things I’ve seen is our Haiti staff here. Keep in mind, many of them lost everything in the quake. They lost homes, possessions and sadly, some of them lost loved ones. Yet here they are, working at our makeshift camp every day, trying to help others. Serving in the midst of their pain. Amazing! Please continue to pray for them. They are heroes of the faith. Compassion partners with established local churches in Haiti. We have for mre than 40 years. They know us. We know them. And shouldn’t the church be the distribution channel for relief in times of hurt anyway? You are providing for tons of supplies to make it into Haiti. Our first planeload is expected to arrive Friday in the Dominican Republic. It will be transported into Haiti on Saturday. We’ll be able to provide two weeks’ worth of basic necessities to more than 77,000 people. Two weeks later, we’ll be able to give them another two-week kit. It’s a start. But it’s a drop in the bucket of need. We need more. Help our relief efforts by making a donation to our Disaster Relief Fund. Thankfully, Compassion has a long-term solution to poverty, too. It’s our program. Child Survival, Child Sponsorship, Leadership Development. Holistic Child Development. That’s how you change a country like Haiti, from the inside out. You start with its children. You start by teaching them to believe in themselves and in a Creator who loves them. You give them skills to succeed. And when they are older, they fight the corruption that plagues their country. They make the changes. Haitians had little to begin with. This quake took that little away. It’s time to start over. And starting over begins with hope. And thankfully, that’s something Compassion specializes in.

The Story Behind...(I'll Drive Yesterday)

Track 6 on my latest project, So Human, is titled, "So, I had this dream..." It's a scene where I'm sitting down with my engineer/producer, Mike Manthei, and discussing the upcoming song. On the track, Mike and I are at a diner, talking about the title to track 7, "I'll Drive Yesterday." Now, there are some things you should know about this scene as it plays out on the CD. First, Mike and I were never at a diner. (Well, I mean we've had lunch together several times but this taping didn't take place at a diner.) Instead, we recorded the scene right there in the recording studio. I sat down on a stool, under the microphone, with Mikey (that's what I call him) sitting next to me. For a little more realism, I actually had a plate in front of me. On the plate was a slice of bread and a butter knife. I cut up the bread and ate it while we talked. The background noise you hear on the track was actually recorded a couple of weeks earlier--at my workplace. I sat a microphone and a small digital recorder out on a table in our cafeteria and just recorded people eating, talking, walking by. But the story I tell in the scene is true. The song really did come about as the result of a dream. Like I explain in track 6, I dreamed I was on stage in front of a massive crowd. My band began this chunky rock groove and I shouted in a pseudo-British/Australian/Cockney accent, "This song's called I'll Drive Yesterday!" And the crowd went nuts. They were screaming and yelling. But then I woke up. I didn't know how the song went. All I had was a title. Meanwhile, my guitarist, Brian DeKam, had written a cool guitar groove for another song that we ended up never using. But I really liked the music tracks. So I stole those music tracks and wrote the words to I'll Drive Yesterday to go with them. About the song: So I sat down and tried to figure out what the heck the words, I'll Drive Yesterday could possibly mean. And the only thing that I could come up with was God's promise...of taking those pains and sins of the past and throwing them away. Have you been lied to? Cheated on? Hurt? That was yesterday. God will drive it away. I also wanted to paint a picture of how holding on to past hurts can affect you:

"Yesterday's a prison. A room without a view.

A judge without a pardon and no remorse for you."

and contrast that with the hope that comes through Christ, who says:

" I'll Drive Yesterday all away and leave it all behind you

there'll be nothing to remind you of yesterday. It's gone today

and the pain and sorrow life put in your way, that was yesterday."

I think my favorite part of the song is the bridge. It has a bit of a "scat" feel to it and the message is, I think, important:

"All of the baggage, all of the scars

all of the wreckage left on your heart

you've gotta let go, it'll tear you apart

you've gotta give it away.

Ah man...that was yesterday."

So there you have it. Some truth. Some deception. But the real story behind the song whose title confuses so many folks upon hearing it the first time. Hope you enjoy!

The Story Behind...(Here I Am)

A lot of folks have been asking me about the meaning or story behind some of my songs. So, I thought I'd go through each of the songs on my new album, So Human, and give a little insight into my messed up head! Ha! At first, I thought I'd just go through the album, track by track, but instead I think I'll start with the song that gets the most questions--Here I Am. First off, let me say that it's always tricky to try to write a song from the perspective of Jesus. To presume that I could possibly speak for my Savior is a bit daunting. But I wanted to tell Christ's story--from His perspective. This song is really Jesus telling the story of His life. And it starts...in the womb. What must it have been like to go from being fully God, to being God in the form of a human baby? So the first lines, "what is this skin that covers me?" is Jesus examining this new flesh around His body. In the following verses, He talks about growing up as a child in a world of mortals. He mentions the miracles that He's performed. I admit, I threw in my own supposition in the second verse. I wondered how lonely our Savior must have felt. "Five thousand here, I'm still alone" He says, speaking of how different He must have felt. "Oh they gather how I feel, but not one asks how I feel--not ever." I wondered if anyone ever asked Jesus how difficult it was to be God on Earth. I don't recall any scripture that shows anyone displaying this kind of concern for Him. How terribly isolating that must have been! The chorus, "Here I am, I'm ready to be everything that you want me to be" means something different everytime. The first time, it's the baby Jesus talking to his earthly parents--Mary and Joseph. It's Him saying "Hey, I'm your baby. I'm your child. I'm ready to be all those things that parents want from their babies--the wonder, the excitement, the love, the reliance on you for my needs, etc." In the second chorus, Jesus is being arrested by the soldiers, to be taken off for execution. In this chorus, He's saying "You want me to be the scapegoat? I'll be that for you. Want me to bear the punishment that you so desperately want to give out? I'll do that for you." And in the final chorus, Jesus is on the cross, speaking to His Heavenly Father. "Here I am" He says, "I'm ready to be the fulfillment of your plan. I'm ready to take on the sins of this world for you, Father. I'll be what you need me to be." And finally, in the final verse, Jesus experiences something else for the first time. "What is this sin that covers me?" Here's a man that knew no sin, then suddenly found Himself covered in all the sins of humanity. Wow. I should also point out that the orchestration was done by a good friend of mine, John Doryk, with NightSky Sound Design. He's an amazing composer and added just the right touch to this song. So there you have it. That's the story/meaning behind Here I Am. Hope you understand it a little better...and enjoy it!

A Fistfight with God

It's been a few years, but there was a point in my life when I challenged God to a fistfight. Can you imagine? What gall. What pride. What arrogance. But I was so angry at Him (for reasons I won't disclose here) that I challenged Him. "Show me your face," I said, "and I'll punch you in the nose." Well, I'm over it now. God, in His gracious and merciful way chose not to pummel me with something as simple as a breath, but instead chose to humble me. Heal me. Love me. What an amazing God. And I have found that my struggles now aren't so much with Him, as with myself. Oddly enough, I opened my Bible this morning and found a section of scripture from Romans that I can really relate to. Thought I'd share it.

For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man,

But I see another law in my members,

warring against the law of my mind,

and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin

which is in my members.

O wretched man that I am!

Who will deliver me from this body of death?

-Romans 7:22-24 (NKJV)

I think Paul and I must've had a lot in common. I wrestle daily with myself. But I take some solace in the very next verse he wrote:

I thank God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God

but with the flesh the law of sin.

I find comfort in knowing that, even though he struggled with sin, Paul's mind was on God. Paul's mind was on the one who conquered sin. And I pray that I'm able to keep my mind there too.