Friday, October 19, 2007
Waiting For The Roller Coaster
Ever feel like the rest of the world is on one happy roller coaster ride and you're the one standing in line waiting your turn? I'm really struggling with that right now. It seems like I'm surrounded by people whose lives just seem to be going their way. Just this past week, I've had friends who got engaged, reached some life-long goals, had huge prayers answered, got a massive raise or promotion at work...you name it. Meanwhile, my finances are tight...work is stressful...my music career is on life support. I feel like there's a piece of me missing and I can't put my finger on it. I can't seem to find joy. I miss joy. And it's not sour grapes. I'm actually very excited that my friends are enjoying this ride. I just wish I was there with them...my arms raised in the air, screaming as we plunge down the tracks at 60mph. I know this is just a phase. I go through this from time to time. But usually there's someone to commiserate with. This time it's different. I'm alone in this one. And anyone who's going through the high life (i.e. riding the roller coaster) certainly doesn't want to be dragged down by someone on a collision course with depression. So, I'm standing in line. Waiting for my turn on the roller coaster. Listening to the shouts of joy...watching the wide-eyed smiles of friends as they zoom by. Man, I can't wait to get on that ride.